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Sunday, December 30, 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR

courtesy santabanta.com
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Friday, December 28, 2012

Drink more

Side effects of alcohol.... and remedies!!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause- Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward...

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom- The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!

5. Symptom-You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure -Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure- Don't move. Let the professionals do their job!!!!

(courtesy:santabanta.com)

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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Very strange


When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes"
in Sri Lanka


There are more chickens than people in the world.


The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.


The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.



Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.


Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned His wife or mother because they were both deaf.


Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking Countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang Yourself."


Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left
handed People do.


An average person uses the bathroom 6 times per day.


Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our Bodies.


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Monday, December 24, 2012

Strange


On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.


Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system.  A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.


Leonardo DA Vinci invented scissors.  Also, it took him 10 years to
paint Mona Lisa's lips.


Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves.


Mosquito repellents don't repel... They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.


The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.


The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.


Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.


The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.


Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "MT".


A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head..





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Thursday, December 20, 2012

photos 2




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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Grandma Brown

 
Today's message -- MAKING A DIFFERENCE

This is Your Life Support System, your free newsletter of life,
love and laughter. http://www.lifesupportsystem.com

________________________________________________

You have permission to reprint this article. Please include:
By Steve Goodier  www.LifeSupportSystem.com

SHARE this message on FaceBook:
http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stevegoodier.blogspot.com/
__________


It was 1846. Grandma Brown, as she was affectionately called, joined one of the wagon trains of adventurers hoping to start a life in America's west. She was 62 years old, only five feet tall and weighed all of 108 pounds when well-fed. Because she was partly paralyzed, she leaned on a cane and walked with a limp.

Along the way, Grandma Brown showed great courage and stamina. As she crossed the American Great Plains and the Rocky Mountains, she nursed the wagon train's sick. At one point she neared starvation herself after the caravan's cattle were rustled off by Rogue River Indians.

Once they arrived in Oregon, she started an orphanage and one of the first schools in that part of the country. The so-called academy was established for all people, both rich and poor. The poor attended free while those who could afford paid a dollar a week for tuition and board.

As long as Grandma Brown was able, she worked to keep the institution alive. She attended to the students. She convinced would-be faculty of the need for teachers at the school. Many days found her hobbling about on her lame leg in the kitchen, kneading and baking the necessary daily bread.

Grandma Brown believed that one person can make a difference. Today, the institution she helped to build is still very much alive and well. It is known as Pacific University.

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Monday, December 17, 2012

photos




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Monday, December 10, 2012

Cows

Sent to me by Sunil Hemdev
The World Explained Through Cows...

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away....

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop c! ounting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good, the sun is shining the surf is up. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

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messages




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Saturday, December 8, 2012

Earrings


Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
Did you ever wonder what type of men wear one earring?


A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

And he explains, "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Sindhi

Sindhi on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Sindhi:To phir bahar wale kamre
ka pankha Q chal raha hay?




Sindhi 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!



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Hell

 This item was sent to me by Sunil Hemdev

 This was an "actual question" given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm.

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for temperature and the pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until All Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

This student got the only A.

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Saturday, November 24, 2012

hindi




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