The Glasses

The Glasses My grandfather worked as a carpenter. On this particular day, he was building some crates for the clothes his church was sending to some orphanage in China. On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses, but they were gone. When he mentally replayed his earlier actions, he realized what had happened, the glasses had slipped out of his pocket unnoticed and fallen into one of the crates, which he had nailed shut. His brand new glasses were heading for China! The great depression was at its height and grandpa had six children. He had spent $20 for those glasses that very morning. He was upset by the thought of having to buy another pair. “its not fair” he told God as he drove home in frustration. “I have been very faithful in giving of my time and money to your work, and now this.” Several months later, the director of the orphanage was on furlough in the United States. He wanted to visit all the churches that supported him in China, so he came to speak one Sunday at my grandfather’s small church in Chicago. The missionary began by thanking the people for their faithfulness in supporting the orphanage. “But most of all” he said. “I must thank you for the glasses you sent last year. You see, the communists had just swept through the orphanage, destroying everything, including my glasses. I was desperate. Even if I had money, there was simply no way of replacing those glasses. Along with not being able to see well, I experienced headache everyday, so my coworkers and I were much in prayer about this. Then your crates arrived. When my staff removed the covers, they found a pair of glasses lying on the top”. The missionary paused long enough to let his words sink in. Then still gripped with wonder of it all, he continued “folks when I tried on the glasses, it was as though they had been custom made just for me! I want to thank you for being a part of that.” The people listened, happy for the miraculous glasses. But the missionary surely must have confused their church with another, they thought. There were no glasses on their list of items to be sent overseas. But sitting quietly in the back, with tears streaming down his face, an ordinary carpenter realized the Master Carpenter had used him in an extraordinary way.

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Knowledge is Amusing

[1] FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).

[2] POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.

[3] MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.

[4] BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.

[5] DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..

[6] NEWS refers to information from Four directions
N, E, W, and S.

[7] AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.
[8] QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people were waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..

[9] JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.

[10] TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.

[11] JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later.

[12] Coca-Cola was originally green.

[13] The most common name in the world is Mohammed..

[14] The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with Asia, America, Australia, Europe

[15] The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

[16] TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

[17] Women BLINK nearly twice as much as men!!
[18] You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
[19] It is impossible to lick your elbow.


[20] Wearing HEADPHONES for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
[21] It is physically impossible for PIGS to look up into the sky.
[22] The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
[23] Each KING in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
[24] What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
All invented by women.
[25] A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out.

[26] A SNAIL can sleep for three years.

[27] All POLAR BEARS are left handed.

[28] BUTTERFLIES taste with their feet.

[29] ELEPHANTS are the only animals that can't jump.

[30] In the last 4000 years, no new ANIMALS have been domesticated.

[31] STEWARDESSES is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

[32] The human HEART creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

[33] RATS multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

[34] People say "BLESS YOU" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

[35] If you SNEEZE too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. So good to bless the sneezing person

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The secret of Ping Pong Ball

One man got a child

1 year later – man asked the child-what to gift you?

Child said

Ping pong ball

2′nd b’day-

Father- what gift you want?

Son – ping pong ball

3rd b’day

Father- what gift you want?

Son – ping pong ball

4th bday

Father- what gift you want?

Son – ping pong ball

5th bday

Father- what gift you want?

Son – ping pong ball

6thb’day

Father- what gift you want?

Son – ping pong ball

24th birthday

Father- what gift you want?

Son – ping pong ball

He got married

At honeymoon

Wife-what do u want?

Husband-ping pong ball

25th bday

Wife – what gift you want?

Husband-ping pong ball

26th bday

Wife – what gift you want?

Husband-ping pong ball

27th bday

Wife – what gift you want?

Husband-ping pong ball

His kids become 15 yrs old

40th bday

Kids- Father what gift you want?

Father – ping pong ball

41st b’day

Kids- Father what gift you want?

Father – ping pong ball

42nd bday

Kids- Father what gift you want?

Father – ping pong ball

79th b’day

Kids- Father what gift you want?

Father – ping pong ball

Time for his death

All the people from whom he took ping pong ball

Came to him and asked

Why did you ask for ping pong ball all the time?


He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you…

Then those people gave him a ping pong ball

He said when I will be extremely near to death then I will tell

During those last moments when he is about to die

Everyone reached him and asked

Tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?

He said.

I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b’day because

And he died… before he could tell the Reason…

What a tragedy! What a tragedy!!! Hmmmm?

Why should I suffer alone after receiving this email? That’s why I
Forwarded this to you!!

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Cat

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fool cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you cannot resist passing it on!

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Are women clever?

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap.
The frog said to her, ‘If you release me from this trap, I
will grant you three wishes.’
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
‘Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!’ The woman
said, ‘That’s okay.’
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, ‘You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to’.
The woman replied, ‘That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.’
So, KAZAM- she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, ‘That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than
you. ‘
The woman said, ‘That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.’
So, KAZAM- she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ‘I’d like to have a
mild heart attack.’
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t
mess with them.
Attention
female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue
feeling good!
Male readers: Please scroll down.

















The man had a heart attack ten times ‘milder’ than his wife!!!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they’re really smart …
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor
ENJOY………………..

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