Saturday, July 14, 2012

Income Tax

To, 
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS), 
Department of Treasury 
Washington, DC

Sub: Payment of Tax Dues
Dear Sir / Madam,


Enclosed is my 2012 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.


Please find enclosed in this package 4 toilet seats (value $2,400) and 6 hammers (value $1,029). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.


It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.


Thanking You.


Sincerely,
The Satisfied Taxpayer


Source:Incometaxbiz.com


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Saturday, July 7, 2012

Inner peace

 I think I have found the secret to inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to
finish things I had started. Today I finished two bags of potato
chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine and a small box of candy. I
feel better already.

Source: Thomas Ellisworth
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Friday, July 6, 2012

Daughter

 
A couple made a deal the night of their Marriage to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason!

In the morning the parents of the husband came & knocked on the door, the husband & the wife were looking at each other & as they agreed before, they didn't open the door.

After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door to check on them, the couple were looking at each other, then the bride dropped a tear & started crying she said: "I cannot keep them knocking & not open the door, I miss them already"

The husband didn't say anything & he let her open the door for her parents.

Years & years passed & the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys & the 5th was a little girl, when she was born the father was extremely happy that Almighty blessed him with her, & he threw a Huge Party for her in Grand style, people were so amazed with his joy & his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?

He answered simply: "She is the one who will open the door for me"

Baby girls are the comfort of the eyes of their father!

They hold the key to their mother’s hearts!

Daughters are really unique. They care for their parents even after they are married.

It’s rightly said, "A son is a son till he gets a Wife, a daughter is a daughter all her Life!"
 


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Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Puzzle

 Only 5% of Stanford University graduates figured it out! Can you answer all seven of the following questions with the same word?

1. The word has seven letters....
2. Preceded God...
3. Greater than God...
4. More Evil than the devil...
5. All poor people have it...
6. Wealthy people need it....
7. If you eat it, you will die.

Did you figure it out?

The answer is
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
 NOTHING!

NOTHING has 7 letters.
NOTHING preceded God.
NOTHING is greater than God.
NOTHING is more Evil than the devil.
All poor people have NOTHING.
Wealthy people need NOTHING.
If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

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Friday, June 29, 2012

How easy it is to fool people

 A student won first prize at the local high school science fair. He
was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists
practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our
environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition
demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical
"dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO)."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. sometimes called hydric acid, it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion and to the "greenhouse effect"
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills thousands every year.
8. prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage

Despite the danger, DHMO is often used:

1. as an industrial solvent and coolant
2. in nuclear power plants
3. in the production of styrofoam
4. as a fire retardant
5. in many forms of animal research
6. in the distribution of pesticides
7. as an additive in "junk-foods" and other food products

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1)
knew that the chemical was water.

Source: Thomas S. Ellsworth(posted in a humor newsgroup (rec.humor.funny) -Tom)

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