That is intelligence

That’s intelligence

A recent Italian immigrant comes to New York and wants a job. However, the foreman at the job site won't hire him until he passes a little math test.

"Here's your first question," the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

"All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Italian man stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and poop by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred.

So, when I start?"

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Laws of Universe

Laws of the Universe, Part Two...
1. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

2. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

3. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
4. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

5. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

6. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

7. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
8. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers

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the number magic

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The China Farmer

The China Farmer
Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn't have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor; he used an old horse to plow his field.
One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, "Oh, what a horrible thing to happen." The farmer said simply, "We'll see." He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.
Everyone's reaction now was, "What a lucky man." And the farmer said, "We'll see."
A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, "What a poor fellow!"
The farmer smiled and said, "We'll see."
Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, "What a fortunate man."
The farmer said, "We'll see."
Later in the year, the farmer's young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, "What a shame for the poor boy."
The farmer said, "We'll see."
Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer's son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him.
Everyone said, "What a fortunate young man."
The farmer smiled again - and said, "We'll see."
Moral of the story:
There's no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.
As Fra Giovanni once said:
"Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me... the gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence."

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4 liners

My heart is the station of love,
A brain of grief runs through,
The quick beats are the telegraph,
The message is, “I love you”.

I will not say I do not love you,
For that would not be true,
But I will say that I love a boy,
And that dear boy is you.

I’ll meet you in the park
And I’ll kiss you in the dark.

Courting is a pleasure,
Loving is a grief,
A false hearted lover,
Is worse than a thief.

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