More about Petrol

 जिसको petrol Rs.17/- per litre चाहिए,
 वो इस petrol pump से जा कर ले ले:
 Al Safa Petroleum
Al Khair Road
> Muscat, Oman

>
 Man at Petrol Pump: Full tank कर दो...
 Attendant: Sir, PAN Card की copy दो...
 Man: What? Why? How?
 Attendant: Sir, it’s a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!!


 Harbhajan to Dhoni: हम तो जानबूझ के मैच हारे है... पता है की जीतनेवाली टीम
 को Volkswagon मिलने वाली है, और वो petrol की है...!!!

 Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars
 Because……….
 वो आज भी गिरे हुए पैसे नहीं उठाता...!!!

 Dharmendra’s new dialogue:
 कुत्ते... कमीने... तेरी गड्डी का पेट्रोल पी जाऊंगा...

 Beti: Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND!
 Mom: हमने दुनिया देखि है, बेटी... 2 लीटर पेट्रोल जलाके घरआने वाला कभी JUST
 FRIEND नहीं होता...

 Petrol Pump Attendant: कितने का डालूँ?
 Customer: 50 ML गाडी पे Spray कर दे भाई, आग लगानी है...

 Dear Rupee,
 तुम मेरे प्यार में इतना गिर जाओगे,
 ये मैंने सपने में भी नहीं सोचा था...
 ~तुम्हारा ~
 Dollar

 रामचंद्र कहे गए सिया से, ऐसा कलयुग आएगा,
 कार कैश पे लेगा हर कोई, पेट्रोल लोन से भरवाएगा...!!

contributed by Sanjay Dave and Vineet Bhatia

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Petrol

 *New Greetings**:*

 May your happiness increase like Petrol Price,
 May your sorrow fall like the Indian Rupee, and
 May your joy fill your heart like corruption in India …!!!

 Congress is fulfilling its promise, when they said: GDP will rise this year.
 The only thing, they forgot to tell us its full form:
 G= Gas & Gold
 D= Diesel & Dollar
 P= Petrol & Penny

 Pleasure & Pain come at the same price: Rs.80/- for a Beer Bottle OR 1
 Litre Petrol.
 Decision is yours… झूम लो, या घूम लो.!!!

 Dear Father-in-Law,
 I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry.
 Please take your Daughter or Car back…
 I cannot afford both.

 Now Tata Nano’s fuel cost will be more than its EMI per month!

 Soon, Rupee will be SENIOR CITIZEN (above Rs.60 per US Dollar);
 Petrol has already become VERY SENIOR CITIZEN in Bangalore (Rs.81 per litre)
 Finally it has happened…
 After decades,
 Beer is now cheaper than petrol !!!
 Now, there will be a new slogan: JUST DRINK; DON’T DRIVE !!!

 'Drink and drive' should not be a problem now.
 After all, how many will be able to afford alcohol and petrol on the same
 day?

 We have the world’s cheapest car and the world’s costliest petrol. रिकॉर्ड
बन गया!!!
 Signboard at Petrol pump: Buy Petrol worth Rs. 20,000 and get a TATA nano
 absolutely free.

contributed by Sanjay Dave and Vineet Bhatia

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Love story

 There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.

One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.

The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.

The next day…

Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…

What a touching story!!!

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Why it is impossible to hijack KFA plane

 The Kompletely Finished Airlines (KFA) was on the brink. Its pilots
were on strike and staff had not been paid salaries for six months.
Banks, which had lent huge sums of money, were closing in. But there
was one reason why KF Airlines still drew passengers; it was hijack
proof. And this is how it earned its reputation.

It happened some months back.

Two of the three hijackers on KFA Flight 333, who had dozed off to
sleep, wake up and spring out of their seats brandishing things that
looked like sharp weapons. One of them takes hold of the stewardess
and yells for all the passengers to hear, “Don’t move. This is a
hijack. We are taking this plane to Karachi.”

“Wait a minute,” says a passenger who looks like a banker, “you can’t
take this plane. My bank has already seized it to recover dues owned
by the company. This plane is going to Mumbai to be auctioned.”

“Just hold on,” says the hijacker, “let me check my tickets. We could
be on the wrong flight.” After checking his tickets he says, “We are
on the correct flight. To hell with your bank.”

One of the hijackers moves towards the cockpit taking the stewardess
along while the second one stands guard in the isle. Meanwhile the
third hijacker takes his place at the rear. The cockpit door is jerked
open and the hijacker rushes in and shuts it. “There is no need to
panic. Stay calm. This is a hijack. If you do as you are told your
life will be spared.”

Seeing the surprised look on the pilot’s face, the hijacker asked,
“Who are you?”

“I am the steward, not the pilot,” said the uniformed person in the
pilot’s seat. “The pilots are on strike because they haven’t been paid
salaries for the last three months.”

“Then, who is flying this plane?” asked the hijacker, a little nervous now.
“Nobody is,” said the steward, “we haven’t even taken off.”

The turn of events shocks the hijacker, but he quickly recovers. “I
must have dozed off.  Can you fly this plane?” he asks the steward.
“But I don’t have a licence,” says the steward.

“What if I hold a box cutter to your head?” the hijacker threatens.
“Then maybe,” says the steward, “but there still is one problem. We
don’t have fuel.”

“What?” the hijacker asks.

“The oil companies won’t give us fuel because we still owe them a lot
of money,” the steward blurts out.

The hijacker thinks for a while and then pulls out his satellite phone
and makes a call to Karachi. “Karachi, we have a problem. Can you wire
some 10,000 dollars to the KFA account to buy some aviation fuel?”
Karachi agrees, but the money has to be routed through a series of
offshore accounts to hide the source and this takes some time.
Meanwhile the hijacker yells for the stewardess. “Bring me some
coffee.”

“Sorry sir,” says the stewardess, “but the company cut coffee,
biscuits and toffees from the menu to pay the mortgage on the boss’s
luxury yacht.
”
After what seems like an hour a fuel tanker drives to the plane and
unloads its contents.

“Can we take off now?” the hijacker asks.

“I don’t think we can take off, because this plane has only one
engine,” says the steward.

“What happened to the other one?” asks the hijacker.

“It is being used to power the boss’s Formula 1 car.”

The hijacker is stunned. He then gets angry that the hijack has gone
horribly wrong and yells. “I want to talk to your boss.”

The frightened steward calls up the boss and gives the phone to the
hijacker who listens for a while and then hands it back. “What did he
say?” the steward asks.

“Nothing. The mobile company said his SIM card was deactivated because
bills were not paid for the last six months,” says the hijacker and
walks out.

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strange but true

 

eonvrye that can raed this rsaie your hnad.

To my 'selected' strange-minded friends:

 

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too

Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

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