Women

Seven complicated facts about Women:

1. They believe in saving.
2. Still they go out & buy expensive clothes.
3. Always buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never hav anything 2 wear, but always dress beautifully.
5. Always dress beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment, but don't believe them if complemented.

(Taken from Santabanta.com)

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Abbreviations

sent to me by Shri Vaidyanathan

NEWS: NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH
CHESS: Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers. 
COLD: Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease. 
JOKE: Joy Of Kids Entertainment. 
AIM: Ambition In Mind. 
DATE: Day And Time Evolution. 
EAT: Energy And Taste. 
TEA: Taste And Energy Admitted. 
PEN: Power Enriched In Nib. 
SMILE: Sweet Memories In Lip Expression. 
BYE: Be with You Every time.

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New Year Wishes

Wishes for the New Year
May your hair, your teeth, and your share prices not fall; and may your blood pressure,
your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count, and your mortgage interest not rise.
May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere during rush hour in less than an hour, and when you get there, may you find a parking space.
May New Year's Eve find you seated around the dinner table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends, ushering in the New Year ahead. You will find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, and your parent(s). You can say it to your secretary, your nurse, your butcher, your photographer, your masseuse, your seamstress, your hairdresser, or your tennis instructor, but not with a
"twinkle" in your eye.
Bless you with every happiness, great health, peace, and much love during the next year and all those that follow.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

courtesy santabanta.com
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Drink more

Side effects of alcohol.... and remedies!!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause- Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward...

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom- The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!

5. Symptom-You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure -Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure- Don't move. Let the professionals do their job!!!!

(courtesy:santabanta.com)

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