monks

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a
monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and
says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his
car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.
A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that
nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind.
He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure
out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they
say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man
is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man
goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that
beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many
blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand.
When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."

The man sets about his task.

After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and
knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken
before a gathering of all the monks.

"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled
the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world
is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask.
All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and
reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We
shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says,
"The sound is beyond that door."

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the
wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the
key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made
of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald,
pearl and diamond.

Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has
become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last
key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind
that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns
the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees,
he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting
and seductive sound......

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not
a monk.

- from ArcaMax Jokes/docs daily chuckles

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Women are not fat

With time, women gain weight because we
accumulate so much information and wisdom
in our heads that when there is no more room,
it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren't fat, we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my rear in the
mirror I will think...

“Good grief, look how smart I am!”.

- from Ann F.

                     ------------------------------

Moral: When you change the way you look at things, the things you
look at change - Wayne Dyer

       Taken from:

Doc's daily chuckles

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Hammer

A man is in court for murder and the judge says 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'

Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.'

Then the judge continues, 'you are also charged With beating Your daughter to death with a hammer.'

Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.'

The judge says, 'now we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge You With contempt, now what is the problem?'

Then the man at the back of the court says, 'fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'

 

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Are you my son?

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors, green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared.

The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

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Cell Phones

A lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says ‘I received your text asking about our Pin number and I’ve replied a little while ago.’ When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text ‘hubby’ in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.

Moral lesson:

a. Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.

b. And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

c. Also, when you’re being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don’t reach them, be very careful about going places to meet ‘family and friends’ who text you.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON
Even if this doesn’t pertain to you….Pass it on to your family and friends. It may be useful.

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