Keep me alive

My friend was slowly recovering from a heart attack. "Doctor," she 
pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next 
two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's graduation."

"We'll try," he replied compassionately.

In due course she gratefully attended the graduation.

Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is 
to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding."

"We'll do our best," he replied.

And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding.

Ten years passed. She visited her cardiologist regularly and followed 
his instructions religiously.

One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, 
but I have another request to ask of you. Remember how you saw me 
through to my grandson's graduation?"

"Yes."

"And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter's wedding?"

"Yes."

"Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just 
bought myself a new mattress."

"Yes?"

"It has a 20-year guarantee..."





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My father

There was a young boy who used to come for regular practice but always played in the reserves and never made it to the soccer eleven. While he was practicing, his father used to sit at the far end waiting for him. The matches had started and for four days, he didn't show up for practice or the quarter or semifinals. All of a sudden he showed up for the finals, went to the coach and said, "Coach, you have always kept me in the reserves and never let me play in the finals. But today, please let me play." The coach said, "Son, I'm sorry, I can't let you. There are better players than you and besides, it is the finals, the reputation of the school is at stake and I cannot take a chance." The boy pleaded, "Coach, I promise I will not let you down. I beg of you, please let me play." The coach had never seen the boy plead like this before. He said, "OK, son, go, play. But remember, I am going against my better judgment and the reputation of the school is at stake. Don't let me down." The game started and the boy played like a house on fire. Every time he got the ball, he shot a goal. Needless to say, he was the best player and the star of the game. His team had a spectacular win. When the game finished, the coach went up to him and said, "Son, how could I have been so wrong in my life. I have never seen you play like this before. What happened? How did you play so well?" The boy replied, "Coach, my father is watching me today." The coach turned around and looked at the place where the boy's father used to sit. There was no one there. He said, "Son, your father used to sit there when you came for practice, but I don't see anyone there today." The boy replied, "Coach, there is something I never told you. My father was blind. Just four days ago, he died. Today is the first day he is watching me from above." Moral: DIFFERENT THINGS MOTIVATE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

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Rules

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE...

1. Money cannot buy happiness

But

Its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes

Than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy

But

Remember the bastard's name.....

3. Help someone when they are in trouble

And

They will remember you

When they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only

Because

it's illegal to shoot them...

 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems,

But

Then again,

Neither does milk.

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English and Hindi

English and Hindi always Contradict... English: The sooner the better... Hindi: Jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka hota hai... English: Think of the devil, and the devil is here... Hindi: Badi lambi umar hai tumhari, abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahe the... English: Don't wait, fight for your rights... Hindi: Sabr ka fal meetha hota hai... ...and the most striking of all, English: As wise as an owl... Hindi: Ullu ka Pattha... (Taken from Santa Banta)

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Last wish

Old Max had started out as a diamond cutter, and through
hard work and good judgement he finally became the owner
of a National chain of jewelry stores. He was wealthy
indeed.

But now, he lay dying, so he called his wife to his side.
“Hannah,” he began, “I always meant to draw up a will but
somehow I never got around to it. So pay close to attention
to my last wishes.”

“Yes, Max, I am listening,” Hannah wept. “Whatever you want,
it will be done.”

“First of all, the business I leave to Harry.”

“Oh, no, Max, not to Harry!” his wife protested. “With Harry
it’s girl-girls-girls! Leave the business better to Jerome.
He’s at least reliable and has a good head for figures.”

“Alright, let it be Jerome,” sighed the dying man. “To Harry
I leave the stocks and bonds.”

“Better you should leave me the stocks and bonds. I should
take care he doesn’t squander it on women or cards.”

“Very well, in your name I leave the securities. And the
summer house I leave to our sweet Minnie.”

“Minnie!” exclaimed his wife. “What for what does Minnie
need another summer house? Her husband didn’t buy her one
last year? Give it to Anna – her husband is a poor man.
After all she’s our flesh and blood too.”

“Fine! Anna gets the summer house,” he sighed resignedly.
“And to our youngest Abe, I leave the car and the warehouses.”

“But Abe has already 2 cars. What does he need with another
one? And he wants to be a musician – what would he do with
warehouses? Take my advice and give them to Louis.

That did it! Old Max had taken all he could of his wife’s
interference. Raising himself off the pillow and summoning
his last ounce of strength, he snapped, “Hannah, you are a
good women and have been a fine wife and mother. But listen
– who is dying around here – you or me?”

(Taken from Docs daily chuckles)

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