Fathers, then and now

Fathers of 1909 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:
• In 1909, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
• In 1909, a father's horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it's the size of his minivan.
• In 1909, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.
• In 1909, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.
• In 1909, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.
• In 1909, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.
• In 1909, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.
• In 1909, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school”.
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up; it's time for hockey practice”.
• In 1909, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Rupa’s at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."
• In 1909, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE...”
• In 1909, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted Sega Game!"

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