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Monday, March 24, 2014

AMAZON



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Saturday, March 1, 2014

Question and answer

Common questions asked  when you go abroad and their appropriate replies which you can give


Does India have cars?

A.     No.  We ride elephants to work.  The government is trying to
       encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q.  Does India have TV?
A.     No.  We only have cable.

Q.  Are all Indians vegetarian?
A.     Yes.  Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q.  How come you speak English so well?
A.     You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians as servants.  It took too long for the Indians to learn English.So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused
their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.

Q.  Are you a Hindi?
A.     Yes.  I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q.  Do you speak Hindu?
A.     Yes,  I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q.  Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A.     Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would
       let me go to school.

Q.  India is very hot, isn't it?
A.     It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously.
       That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.


Q.  I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A.     We don't have shoes.  So we burn the botton of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.


Source
by richa@csa1.lbl.gov (RICHA GOVIL)



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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Formula

Formula for married couples... 

"Love One Another" 

And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle!


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Thursday, January 30, 2014

Statistics

·         As of December 2013, Chrome was the most used Web browser. -
·         Google Chrome came out on top in 2013 with 46.63 percent of global desktop users. Internet Explorer came in second with 24.91 percent and Firefox third with 20.3 percent.Last, we find Safari with 4.8 percent and Opera with 1.33 percent. - 

·         Most of the world's Internet users are in Asia. - Internet World Stats
·         China continues to be Internet leader in the world having reached 604 million users in September 2013, up 13 million users since June 30 2013. 


·         Access to the Internet using a mobile phone more than doubled between 2010 and 2013, from 24% to 53%.


·         Some 73% of online adults now use a social networking site of some kind.
·         Facebook is the dominant social networking platform in the number of users, but a striking number of users are now diversifying onto other platforms.




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Sunday, January 26, 2014

Bizzare cases

Vienna, Austria: A 73-year-old woman was taken to court by her son on stalking charges after phoning him as many as 49 times a day for two-and-a-half years. “I just wanted to talk to him,” the woman stated, but apparently the feeling wasn’t mutual. She was fined almost $500 for her actions.

Case 2

Edwardsville, Illinois: Charles Douglas, 58, was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after approaching parents in a park and asking if he could tickle their children. A judge dismissed the charge, ruling Douglas’ actions legal. Creepy, but legal.

Case 3


Patna, India: Balgovind Prasad, a 75-year-old doctor, was sentenced to three months in jail for taking a 51-cent bribe 24 years earlier. Prasad had taken the money from a sweeper in exchange for issuing a fake medical certificate.


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Saturday, January 18, 2014

quotes



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Monday, January 13, 2014

QUOTES

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys."
- Harmon Killebrew

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
- Clarence Budington Kelland

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
- Gloria Naylor

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.
- Sigmund Freud

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!
- Lydia M. Child

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman, he turns her back again.
- Enid Bagnold

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
- Bill Cosby

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.
- Erika Cosby

To be a successful father . . . there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
- Ernest Hemingway

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
- Charles Wadsworth

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
- Gabriel Garca Mrquez 



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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Taxi Driver

A NYC Taxi driver wrote: I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a 
minute', answered a frail, elderly voice.
I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said.
 I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.' 'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?' 'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 'What route would you like me to take?' I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse. 'Nothing,' I said 'You have to make a living,' she answered. 'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.' I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift.
 I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.


(sent to me by Karuna)

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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Wife

1. Subaah subaah garam paani milega..... Bartan dhone ke liye.


2. Pyaare pyaare bachche milenge..... Aapko gadha Banaane ke liye.


3. Har roz biwi aapse pyar se bolegi..... Ration laane ke liye.

4. Biwi aapke baahon me baahein daalegi..... Kharcha paani ke liye.


5. Aap gaana gaana shuru kar doge..... Bachchon ko sulaane ke liye.


6. Wo roz taiyaar hokar saamne aayegi..... Shopping jaane ke liye.

7. Aapko bhi whiskey ka mazaa ayegaa..... Kuch der gum bhulaane ke liye.



NO LIFE WITHOUT WIFE




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