Prescription

Jane walked into a pharmacy, strolled over to the counter, and caught the pharmacist's attention.

"Can I please get some arsenic?" she asked.

"Arsenic? What do you want arsenic for?" asked the pharmacist.

"It's for my husband," she replied.

"Your husband?" exclaimed the pharmacist, "I hope you don't mean what I think you mean!"

She just nodded.

"Well, lady," he replied, "I'm an honest man. I can't sell you arsenic, I wouldn't if I could, and I don't know what made you think you could just stroll into a respectable store and expect me me to sell you arsenic.!"

She didn't say a word. She just reached into her purse, fished out a photograph, and handed it across the counter. It was a picture of her husband, in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

Slowly the pharmacist looks up, over the counter, and then straight at her. "Lady," he said, "why didn't you tell me you had a prescription?"

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What is Truly Ours and What Others Grant Us

Almost one thousand years ago, in Moslem Spain, there lived a Jew named Rabbi Samuel the Prince. He was very wise, and rose to great power, becoming the Sultan’s treasurer. This aroused the jealousy of the other ministers, who planted rumors that Rabbi Samuel was embezzling money from the royal treasury.
The Sultan decided to put Rabbi Samuel to the test. One day, without warning, he called for Rabbi Samuel, and asked him to make a complete accounting of his personal wealth. Rabbi Samuel was taken aback, but he could not refuse the Sultan’s request. He sat at a table, asked for a quill and parchment, and began writing feverishly. After half an hour, he stopped, reviewed the list silently, and handed it to the Sultan.
The Sultan read the inventory carefully, and slammed it down angrily on the table. ‘Why, this is only a fraction of your wealth. I personally have given you far more than what you list here as your salary. This is a brazen lie! My advisors are correct – you have been dishonest with me in your monetary affairs. I shall personally confiscate everything you own. Guards, take this man away!’
‘Your Majesty’, responded Rabbi Samuel, ‘you asked me for an accounting of my wealth. As you can plainly see, my worldly possessions are not truly mine. At any time, they could be taken from me by robbers, war or natural disaster. In fact, your Majesty has just taken them from me with a single command.’
‘The only possession I truly own is that money which can never be taken from me – the money I have given to charity. You see, a Jew is commanded by the Torah to give one tenth of his income to those in need. The figure I gave you, your Majesty, was the total of all the moneys I have given to charity. That is my true wealth, for the benefit from that money remains mine forever, and can never be taken from me.’
The Sultan was impressed by this profound truth, and promoted Rabbi Samuel to even greater power in his kingdom.”
Rabbi Samuel has hit upon a fundamental aspect of human nature – we are easily confused between what is truly ours and what others grant us. The same is true of corporations. Our stock price is soaring, but that is something that is granted by investors, and could be taken away from us tomorrow by those very same investors, based on factors that are entirely out of our control. What, then, is truly ours? It’s our loyal, highly skilled employees, and the passion and innovation that they bring to their jobs. They are our true strategic assets, and they are what will keep us successful for years to come.
Source: An Introduction to Hasidic Management by Moshe Kranc

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Time Pass item

This is really strange... try it!

GET A CALCULATOR.

1. Key into the calculator the first 3 digits of your phone number (the exchange, not the area code).

2. Multiply by 80

3. Add 1

4. Multiply by 250

5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again

7. Subtract 250

8. Lastly, divide by 2

Is this your phone number?

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The Ant-powerpoint presentation

This is a powerpoint presentation. Click on the above title of the story to view it

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So You Think You've Had a Bad Day . . .

The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.

The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.

After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.

The same ambulance crew was dispatched and his wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out.

He fell down the remaining steps and broke his ankle.

So, is your day as bad as you thought?
*******************
When your Time is Good, Your Mistakes are taken As a Joke! But When Your Time is Bad, Even your Jokes are Noticed as Mistakes!

********************

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