Genius

 

Is this man (the Economics Professor) truly a genius? Checked out and this is true...it DID happen!

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan" All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED. The professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.     Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on) 

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These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read....  and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody   else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

and most importantly.....

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Can you think of a reason for not sharing this?

Neither could I.

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The Cab Ride

 

The Cab Ride
(Author Unknown)

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. I was asked to pick up a woman late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick complex in a quiet part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened.

A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. "Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way and there will be extra charges”, I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind”, she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove where she and her husband lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow down in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living”, she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. "You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware--beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ...BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
 

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I have learned

 I've learned...

People give u coal and consider it gold and
if u give them diamond they consider it coal..!

I've learned...
I came alone and I've to go alone...!

I've learned...
People r with u only when they need u,not otherwise...!

I've learned...
Extra care of anyone by u will ultimately bring a blame for you,not appreciation...!

I've learned...
A simple LIE of your close one can break you more than anything...!

I've learned...
Its very hard to weep alone when there is no shoulder to support U...!

I've learned...
Love yourself and love people but only if u can do it without expecting anything from them...!Its very true.

Contributed by Sunil Hemdev (who also received it via internet)

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Birthday Gift

Sister to brother:"What are you going to gift Grandma on her birthday?"

Brother:"A football"

Sister:"But Grandma doesn't play football"

Brother:"On my birthday she gave me Bhagwad Gita. Uska kya?"

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Income Tax

To, 
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS), 
Department of Treasury 
Washington, DC

Sub: Payment of Tax Dues

Dear Sir / Madam,


Enclosed is my 2012 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.


Please find enclosed in this package 4 toilet seats (value $2,400) and 6 hammers (value $1,029). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.


It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.


Thanking You.


Sincerely,
The Satisfied Taxpayer

Source:Incometaxbiz.com

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Inner peace

 I think I have found the secret to inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to
finish things I had started. Today I finished two bags of potato
chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine and a small box of candy. I
feel better already.

Source: Thomas Ellisworth

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Daughter

 

A couple made a deal the night of their Marriage to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason!

In the morning the parents of the husband came & knocked on the door, the husband & the wife were looking at each other & as they agreed before, they didn't open the door.

After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door to check on them, the couple were looking at each other, then the bride dropped a tear & started crying she said: "I cannot keep them knocking & not open the door, I miss them already"

The husband didn't say anything & he let her open the door for her parents.

Years & years passed & the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys & the 5th was a little girl, when she was born the father was extremely happy that Almighty blessed him with her, & he threw a Huge Party for her in Grand style, people were so amazed with his joy & his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?

He answered simply: "She is the one who will open the door for me"

Baby girls are the comfort of the eyes of their father!

They hold the key to their mother’s hearts!

Daughters are really unique. They care for their parents even after they are married.

It’s rightly said, "A son is a son till he gets a Wife, a daughter is a daughter all her Life!" 

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Puzzle

 Only 5% of Stanford University graduates figured it out! Can you answer all seven of the following questions with the same word?

1. The word has seven letters....
2. Preceded God...
3. Greater than God...
4. More Evil than the devil...
5. All poor people have it...
6. Wealthy people need it....
7. If you eat it, you will die.

Did you figure it out?

The answer is

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 NOTHING!

NOTHING has 7 letters.
NOTHING preceded God.
NOTHING is greater than God.
NOTHING is more Evil than the devil.
All poor people have NOTHING.
Wealthy people need NOTHING.
If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

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How easy it is to fool people

 A student won first prize at the local high school science fair. He
was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists
practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our
environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition
demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical
"dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO)."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. sometimes called hydric acid, it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion and to the "greenhouse effect"
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills thousands every year.
8. prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage

Despite the danger, DHMO is often used:

1. as an industrial solvent and coolant
2. in nuclear power plants
3. in the production of styrofoam
4. as a fire retardant
5. in many forms of animal research
6. in the distribution of pesticides
7. as an additive in "junk-foods" and other food products

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1)
knew that the chemical was water.

Source: Thomas S. Ellsworth(posted in a humor newsgroup (rec.humor.funny) -Tom)

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Test

 

This is a good test, with some tantalizing and challenging questions. You should be able to get at least three, but you have to be a genius to get 6/6

  

1.   In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

2.  Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.

3.  There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?

4.   For readers in cricket playing countries there are 10 ways of being out in Cricket. Hit the ball twice is one. Can you name the other 9?

5.   It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?

6.    Name six (or more) things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter "S."

============== Answers Below ==============

** Answers - Simple, Right?! **

1.   The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

2.   Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.

3.   Period (full stop), comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

4.   Cricket: Bowled, Stumped, LBW, Run Out, Caught, Hit ball twice, Hit wicket, Handled ball, Obstructing the fielder, and the one everyone forgets - Out of time.

5.   Lettuce.

6.  Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings.

Well, now you know the answers! Feel any smarter?

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Will and Guy' (guyn@computerperformance.co.uk) ]

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