Story of a snake

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes -- NOT rattlesnakes. Read on....

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife brought them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. A little green grass snake was hibernating in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband, having just finished his shower, ran into the living room in his underwear to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on his hands and knees to look for it.

About that time the family dog came into the room and cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, loaded him on a stretcher, and started carrying him out.

Just then the snake came out from under the sofa. One Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher just as they started down the stairs; this caused the husband to fall down the stairs, breaking his leg, so he ended up in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake, so she called on a neighbor, who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

About then the neighbor's wife, who had just returned from grocery shopping came over, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and badly lacerating his scalp.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him. Seeing his scalp injury, and not having any alcohol, she went to the kitchen, and poured whiskey over a dish towel. Then she returned to pat the bleeding scalp wound on the neighbor man's head, with the whisky soaked dish towel.

The neighbors, hearing all the commotion, had called the police. When the police saw the unconscious man, and smelled the whiskey, they assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all. The first women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called another ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife to hospital.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. It fell over, which caused the lamp to shatter, and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames with a throw rug, but tripped and fell through the window into the yard which startled the family dog, who jumped up and ran out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid hitting the dog and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile the curtain fire had spread to the walls and the entire house was ablaze.

Neighbors now called the fire department. The fire fighters arrived, and while trying to work around some trees got the ladder-truck extension ladder caught on some overhead wires, knocking out electricity and disconnecting telephone service in a ten city block area.

Time passed... both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was re-built, the police got a new patrol car, and all was right with the world....

About a year later the same couple was watching TV. The weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night?

Without saying a word, the wife walked into the bedroom.... and went to sleep.

[Author unknown -- from Mark Miller -- Ed: anon.] 

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Rules for arresting women

An incident took place in Pune – a young girl was attacked by a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the policestation when she & her male friend didn’t have a driver’s license to show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed.

The law [which most of us are not aware of] clearly states that between 6 pm and 6 am (from sunset until sunrise), a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station , even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6pm and 6am, if and ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer & taken to an ALL WOMEN police station.. And if she is arrested by a male officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest.

Please fwd this to as many girls you know on your mailing list . Also to boys because this can help them protect their wives, friends, sisters and mother. It is good for us to know our rights.

Note: Read National Human Rights Commission Report for elaborate details.

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Drink water on empty stomach

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have pro…ven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:

Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, alleye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

METHOD OF TREATMENT
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water

2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute

3.. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.

4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours

5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.

6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure (30 days)
2. Gastric (10 days)
3. Diabetes (30 days)
4. Constipation (10 days)
5. Cancer (180 days)
6. TB (90 days)
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards – daily..

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain…

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.

Once this ‘sludge’ reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.
Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks:

· Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting,
· Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
· You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
· Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
· 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
· Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive…

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we’ll save at least one life.

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courtesy:Venkats mails
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more quotes

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look look

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interesting

Taken from winkal.com

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Small things

(sent to me by Sunil Hemdev)

How strange it is
-We wish to earn loads of money,
but we had the best times only when we had just 10 bucks in our pocket.

-We wish to wear high brands
but we feel most comfortable in pajayma pants.

-We wish to sit in Taj & Marriot with elite people
but we enjoy roadside tea with friends the most.

-We wish to own big cars and go on long drives
yet we talk our heart out only while walking down a long road.

-We have 64GB iPods filled with songs
but sometimes a song on the radio brings a smile that can’t be compared.

-Life is simple indeed
But We make it complex by running after what never gives us joy.

Love life?
Take note of small things.
Keep Smiling.

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One woman, three men

One morning at a doctor’s office a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.

The doctor examines him and asks him -”OK, what happened to your back?”
The patient replies “You know that I work for a local night club, right? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom.

On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself.

I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back.”
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said “My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?”

He replied, “You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won’t believe it but I was hit by a fridge.”

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do.. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, “What the hell happened to youuuuuu…..?”

“Well I was sitting in a fridge and some one threw it from the 3rd floor”.

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Valentines day

If you don't have a Valentine on "Valentine's day"; don't be sad. Most people don't have Aids on "World Aids day"!

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Rajnikanth

Some strange facts about Rajnikanth our film hero, taken from internet

When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
 There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
 Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
 Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
 Rajinikanth can drown a fish

.

 Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

 Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
 Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
 Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.

 The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off..
 Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
 Rajinikanth can make onions cry..

 Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
 Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
 Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
 Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection..

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some photos

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Punctuation

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It happens only in India

Mr.Kalayanasundaram worked as a Librarian for 30 years. Every month in his 30 year experience(service), he donated his entire salary to help the needy. He worked as a server in a hotel to meet his needs. He donated even his pension amount of about TEN(10) Lakh rupees to the needy.

He is the first person in the world to spend the entire earnings for a social cause. In recognition to his service, (UNO)United Nations Organization adjudged him as one of the Outstanding People of the 20th Century.. An American organization honored him with the ‘Man of the Millennium’ award. He received a sum of Rs 30 cores as part of this award which he distributed entirely for the needy as usual.

Moved by his passion to help others, Super Star Rajinikanth adopted him as his father. He still stays as a bachelor and dedicated his entire life for serving the society.

We all Indians should be PROUD. UNO has honored him but we Indians don’t even know that such a personality exist amongst us.
At least have the courtesy to pass this on and on till the whole world comes to know about him and his passion…

(taken from jokesduniya)

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Ek aadmi

एक बार एक आदमी समुद्र में नहाते हुए डूबने लगता तो वह भगवान् से प्रार्थना करते हुए कहता है, " हे भगवान्! मैं बच गया तो 100 गरीबों को बिरयानी खिलाऊंगा"।

अभी उसकी बात ख़त्म ही हुई होती है की एक तेज़ लहर उसे किनारे पर फेंक देती है।

जैसे ही वह आदमी किनारे पर पहुंचा, उसने ऊपर देखा और कहा, "कौनसी बिरयानी"?

तभी अचानक एक और लहर आयी और उसे वापस समुद्र में ले गयी।

आदमी: मेरा मतलब था चिकन या मटन।

 Taken from Santabanta

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You Think You've Had a Bad Day

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.

The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.

After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.

The same ambulance crew was dispatched and his wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out.

He fell down the remaining steps and broke his ankle.

So, is your day as bad as you thought?

        *******************

When your Time is Good, Your Mistakes are taken As a Joke! But When Your Time is Bad, Even your Jokes are Noticed as Mistakes!

       ********************

 


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