Thinking on your feet

Thinking On Your Feet...
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect.

At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.

Very grudgingly he agreed.

He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?"

He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden, he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!"

He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs.

The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the doorway wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said,

"Come on guys, we're almost there!!"

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Fern and Bamboo

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.

When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others ..." He said. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
Your time will come, God said to me. You will rise high!

How high should I rise?" I asked.

How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can? I questioned.

Yes. " He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can.

I left the forest and bring back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life.

Good days give you happiness;
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.

Happiness keeps you Sweet!
Trials keep you Strong!!

Sorrows keep you Human!
Failures keep you Humble!!

Success keeps You Glowing!
But Only God keeps You Going!!

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Santa Banta

Banta’s Letter To Bill Gates
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button ‘Start’ but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friends clicked ‘Run’ he ran up to Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to ‘Sit’, so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any ‘Re-Scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘Recycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘Find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft Word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft Sentence’, so when you will provide that?
6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘My Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says ‘My Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is ‘Microsoft Office’ what about ‘Microsoft Home’ since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?
10. You provide ’My Network Places‘. For God sake please do not provide ’My Secret Places‘. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
One personal question.. How is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
Regards,
Banta

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WORD SCRABBLE [Amazing One]
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
When you rearrange the letters:
FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL
DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE
PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN
MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN
DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z’S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE
MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

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Socrates

Occasions


Socrates came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, “Do you know what I just heard about one of your students?” “Just a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three. “The first test is Truth. Are you sure that what you will say is true? “Oh no,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.” “So you don’t really know if it’s true, Socrates said. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?” “No, on the contrary..” “So,” Socrates interrupted, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?” The man shrugged, rather embarrassed. Socrates continued. “You may still pass though, because there is a third test, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me at all?” “Well it ..No, not really..” “Well, concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor good nor ever Useful, why tell it to me at all?” The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out what Plato was up to.

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