Sunday, October 14, 2012

IQ LEVEL TEST

A MAN WANTED TO ENTER A CLUB. EVERY MEMBER KNOWS THE PASSWORD.
THE MAN HID HIMSELF BEHIND A WALL AND TRIED TO LISTEN TO THE PASSWORD. A MEMBER CAME. THE WATCHMAN SAID, "TWELVE" THE MEMBER REPLIED "SIX". THE WATCHMAN OPENED THE DOOR.
ANOTHER MAN CAME. THE WATCHMAN SAID "SIX", THE MEMBER SAID "THREE". THE WATCHMAN OPENED THE DOOR.
THE MAN THOUGHT HE HAD GOT THE PASSWORD. HE WENT TO THE DOOR. THE WATCHMAN SAID "EIGHT". THE MAN REPLIED "FOUR". THE WATCHMAN DID NOT OPEN THE DOOR.
WHAT WAS THE PASSWORD?
REPLY TO vinodhemdev@gmail.com

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Saturday, October 13, 2012

Miracle



 This story has been sent to me by Shivam Pandey


How Much Does A Miracle Cost? A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass
jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it
carefully. Three times, even..The total had to be exactly perfect.. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door
and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise.

Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it! 'And what do you want?' the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice.. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages,' he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

 'Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,' Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. 'He's really, really sick....and I want to buy a miracle.'

 'I beg your pardon?' said the pharmacist.

 'His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?'

'We don't sell miracles here, little girl.I'm sorry but I can't help you,' the pharmacist said, softening a little.

'Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.'

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, 'What kind of a miracle does your brother need?

I don't know,' Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money..'

 'How much do you have?' asked the man from Chicago.

 'One dollar and eleven cents,' Tess answered barely audible.'And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.'

'Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a
miracle for little brothers.' He took her money in one hand and with the otherhand he grasped her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need.'

That well-dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and
doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place. 'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?'

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost....one dollar and eleven cents...plus the faith of a little child.

 ***In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need. A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.


 


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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Bluetooth



**After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand
years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug
200 meters and the headlines in the US papers read:
' US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have
concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital
telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians.'

One week later, Indian daily newspapers reported the following:

After digging as deep as 500 meters, Indian scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors
were already using Bluetooth and Wireless technology.** *
 


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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Doctor


A doctor in Duluth Minnesota wanted to get
Off work and go hunting, so he
approached his assistant. 'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'

'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns
The following day and asks: 'So, Ole,
How was your day?'

Ole told him that he took care of
Three patients. 'The first one had a
Headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'

'Bravo, mate, and the second one?'
Asks the doctor.

'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.

'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the Doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself,
Taking off everything including
Her panties and lies
Down on the table and shouts:
HELP ME - I haven't
Seen a man in over two years!!'

'Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole,
What did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes!!


You thought I was sending a dirty joke!
NOT ME!

Remember - Keep Smiling
It makes people wonder
what you're up to!!


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Saturday, October 6, 2012

more quotes





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