Rules

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE...

1. Money cannot buy happiness

But

Its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes

Than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy

But

Remember the bastard's name.....

3. Help someone when they are in trouble

And

They will remember you

When they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only

Because

it's illegal to shoot them...

 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems,

But

Then again,

Neither does milk.

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English and Hindi

English and Hindi always Contradict... English: The sooner the better... Hindi: Jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka hota hai... English: Think of the devil, and the devil is here... Hindi: Badi lambi umar hai tumhari, abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahe the... English: Don't wait, fight for your rights... Hindi: Sabr ka fal meetha hota hai... ...and the most striking of all, English: As wise as an owl... Hindi: Ullu ka Pattha... (Taken from Santa Banta)

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Last wish

Old Max had started out as a diamond cutter, and through
hard work and good judgement he finally became the owner
of a National chain of jewelry stores. He was wealthy
indeed.

But now, he lay dying, so he called his wife to his side.
“Hannah,” he began, “I always meant to draw up a will but
somehow I never got around to it. So pay close to attention
to my last wishes.”

“Yes, Max, I am listening,” Hannah wept. “Whatever you want,
it will be done.”

“First of all, the business I leave to Harry.”

“Oh, no, Max, not to Harry!” his wife protested. “With Harry
it’s girl-girls-girls! Leave the business better to Jerome.
He’s at least reliable and has a good head for figures.”

“Alright, let it be Jerome,” sighed the dying man. “To Harry
I leave the stocks and bonds.”

“Better you should leave me the stocks and bonds. I should
take care he doesn’t squander it on women or cards.”

“Very well, in your name I leave the securities. And the
summer house I leave to our sweet Minnie.”

“Minnie!” exclaimed his wife. “What for what does Minnie
need another summer house? Her husband didn’t buy her one
last year? Give it to Anna – her husband is a poor man.
After all she’s our flesh and blood too.”

“Fine! Anna gets the summer house,” he sighed resignedly.
“And to our youngest Abe, I leave the car and the warehouses.”

“But Abe has already 2 cars. What does he need with another
one? And he wants to be a musician – what would he do with
warehouses? Take my advice and give them to Louis.

That did it! Old Max had taken all he could of his wife’s
interference. Raising himself off the pillow and summoning
his last ounce of strength, he snapped, “Hannah, you are a
good women and have been a fine wife and mother. But listen
– who is dying around here – you or me?”

(Taken from Docs daily chuckles)

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Magic bowl

 A King was going to his palace after his routine rounds in the city when he met a beggar. He asked the beggar, “What do you want?”

 The beggar laughed and said, “You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!”

 The king was offended. He said, “Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me.”

 And the beggar said, “Think twice before you promise anything.”

 “I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?”

 The beggar said, “It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?”

 The emperor said, “Of course!” He called one of his viziers and told him, “Fill this mans begging bowl with money.” The vizier went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the begging bowl remained always empty.

The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake. He said to his viziers, “If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar.”

Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it — everything! — immediately disappeared, went out of existence. Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the feet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, “Just tell me one thing. You are victorious – but before you leave, just fulfill my curiosity. What is the beging bowl made of?”

 The beggar laughed and said, “There is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire.”

Moral: Man’s desire for Money will never finish. If he has a million dollars he will wish for two. So the right way is to be content with whatever you have.

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WHAT IS LOVE

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.  See what you think:
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.  That’s love.” Rebecca – age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.  You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age 6
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri – age 4
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny – age 7
“Love is when you kiss all the time.  Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.  My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss” Emily – age 8
 “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle – age 7
“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy – age 6
“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.  I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.  He was the only one doing that.  I wasn’t scared anymore,” Cindy – age 8
“My mommy loves me more than anybody.  You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare – age 6
“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine -age 5
“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris – age 7
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann – age 4
“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren – age 4
“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7
“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget,” Jessica – age 8

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