Who is perfect

A Man and his Girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.

The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true. A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: “I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage.” she offered. “Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together.”

The husband agreed, so each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists. “I’ll start,” offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing” the husband replied, “keep reading your lists.” The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.

“Now, you read your list and then we’ll talk about the things on both of our lists.” She said happily.

Quietly the husband stated, “I don’t have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don’t want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn’t want to try and change anything about you.”
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

CONCLUSION :In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don’t really have to go looking for them.

We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?

I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad. Nobody’s perfect but we can find perfectness in them to change the way we see them.

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TyPING MIStAKE

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake... MONDAY: For sale - Vishant has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishant's ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs. Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishant has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: For sale - Vishant has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishant, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

(TAKEN FROM SANTA BANTA)

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Miracle

Doctor Simon was known throughout town as one of the best consultants on arthritis. He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment. One day, Betty, an elderly lady, slowly struggles into his waiting room. She is completely bent over and leans heavily on her walking stick. A chair is found for her. Eventually, her turn comes to go into Doctor Simon’s office.

15 minutes later, to everyone’s surprise, she comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. She is holding her head high and has a smile on her face. A woman in the waiting room says to Betty, “It’s unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Simon do to you?”

“Miracle, shit miracle,” says Betty, “he just gave me a longer walking stick.”?

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Phone call

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:

“Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.

“After a brief pause daddy says, “But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”

“Oh yes I do,and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”

Brief pause,“Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do: put the phone down on the

table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”

“Ok daddy just a minute….”

A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.

””What happened honey?”

“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room

screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase, now she is not moving at all.”

“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad.

He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know

you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”

After a really long pause this time…Daddy says, “Swimming pool, but we don’t have a

swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”

“No, this is 486-5713”

“Sorry wrong number….!!!!” Says the man and cuts the phone

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Poem

Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow
Today was Daddy's Day at school
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet
Children squirming impatently,
Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called,
Each student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one"
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offened her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
"My daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me
Even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart."
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year.
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closes her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they say before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy."
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far

- From the poem Daddy's Day, by Cheryl Costello-Forshey

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monks

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a
monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and
says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his
car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.
A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that
nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind.
He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure
out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they
say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man
is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man
goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that
beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many
blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand.
When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."

The man sets about his task.

After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and
knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken
before a gathering of all the monks.

"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled
the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world
is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask.
All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and
reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We
shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says,
"The sound is beyond that door."

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the
wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the
key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made
of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald,
pearl and diamond.

Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has
become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last
key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind
that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns
the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees,
he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting
and seductive sound......

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not
a monk.

- from ArcaMax Jokes/docs daily chuckles

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Women are not fat

With time, women gain weight because we
accumulate so much information and wisdom
in our heads that when there is no more room,
it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren't fat, we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my rear in the
mirror I will think...

“Good grief, look how smart I am!”.

- from Ann F.

                     ------------------------------

Moral: When you change the way you look at things, the things you
look at change - Wayne Dyer

       Taken from:

Doc's daily chuckles

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Hammer

A man is in court for murder and the judge says 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'

Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.'

Then the judge continues, 'you are also charged With beating Your daughter to death with a hammer.'

Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.'

The judge says, 'now we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge You With contempt, now what is the problem?'

Then the man at the back of the court says, 'fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'

 

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Are you my son?

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors, green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared.

The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

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Cell Phones

A lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says ‘I received your text asking about our Pin number and I’ve replied a little while ago.’ When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text ‘hubby’ in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.

Moral lesson:

a. Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.

b. And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

c. Also, when you’re being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don’t reach them, be very careful about going places to meet ‘family and friends’ who text you.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON
Even if this doesn’t pertain to you….Pass it on to your family and friends. It may be useful.

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It all depends on how you look at it

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a God!

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A very tired traveller

A very tired traveler came to the banks of a river.

There was no bridge by which he could cross. It was winter, and the surface of the river was covered with ice. It was getting dark, and he wanted to reach the other side while there was enough light to see. He debated about whether or not the ice would bear his weight.

Finally, after much hesitation and fear, he got down on his knees and began very cautiously to creep across the surface of the ice. He hoped that by disturbing the weight of his body, the ice would be less apt to break under the load.

After he made his slow and painful journey about halfway across the river, he suddenly heard the sound of singing behind him. Out of the dusk, there came a 4-horse load of coal driven by a man singing merrily as he went to his carefree way. Here was the traveler, fearfully inching his way on his hands and knees. And there, as if whisked along by the winter’s wind, went the driver, his horses, his sled, and the heavy load of coal over the same river!


The Above Story illustrates how many of us go through life.:

Some stand on the bank of decisions unable to make up their minds about the course to take. Others stand on the banks trying to muster enough courage to cross over to the other side of the task or problem encountered.

On the other hand, some individuals crawl and creep through life for fear of thin ice.

Their faith is not strong enough to hold them up. Still there are those who whisked along whistling as they go. Their faith is UNSHAKABLE.

When we face the river of difficulties, we do not have to fear, nor do we creep through life. God has promised to help, and with God’s help we can merrily make our way to the other side safely.

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Teachers

Top Answers Of Teachers If They
Don’t Know The Answers!

.

.

.

.

- I Think the Question Is Wrong

.

- I will Tell You Tomorrow

.

- Don’t Ask Foolish Questions

.

- You’ll Study This In The Next Class: - ?

.

.

.

.

And The Most Famous 1

.

.

.

.

- Nice Question, Raise Your Hands

Who Know The Answer For This?

 (If No One Raises)

Then…:

.

.

.

.

.

It Is An Assignment For You !

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Cat and God

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.

The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven.

Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.

The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.

We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms.

Running, running, running; we're tired of running.

Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

Week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.

The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.

Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"

FROM:SUNIL


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Phone call

Unknown call on a guys mobile. A girl speaks.

Girl: do u have a girlfriend?

Man: yes who r u?

Girl: your wife, Just come home I will see u….!

Another unknown call comes

Girl: do you have a girlfriend?

Man: no! who r you?

Girl: your girlfriend you cheat

Man: sorry darling i thought ur my wife

Girl: Its ur wife only….!
Now u just come home….!!

(taken from:venkat mails)

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Cat and God

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.

The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven.

Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.

The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.

We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms.

Running, running, running; we're tired of running.

Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

Week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.

The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.

Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"

FROM:SUNIL


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