Three old men

 

Three old men went to see God

The first old man—an American named Paul—eating junk food had taken its toll on him—asked God when will his country come out of recession.

“Hundred years,” God said. The American started weeping profusely, “I will not live to see that day”.

The second man, a Russian named Ivan—swirling vodka tad taken its toll on him—asked God

“When will my country become prosperous?”

“Fifty years” came the reply

The Russian too, started weeping profusely. “I will not live to see that day.”

Finally, Anna from India—incessant fasting had taken its toll on him—asked God,

“When will my country become corruption-free?”

God started weeping profusely, “I will not live to see that day”. Said God

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Girl Friend: "Where are you?"

Boyfriend: "I am at 'Bank'"

Girlfriend: "I need 5000 Rs for Blackberry and 3000 Rs for dress"

Boyfriend: "Sorry, I mean I was at the 'Bank of River', machi khayegi, machi......"

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Wine

 HUSBAND SITTING HOME N DRINKING WINE.
HUSBAND ,"I LOVE U."
WIFE ASKS,"IS THAT U OR THE WINE TALKING."
HUSBAND, REPLIES,"IT'S ME,TALKING TO THE WINE"

Contributed by Sunil Hemdev

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GYAN GANGA:

Dog road par ulta pada tha to log uski pooja karne lage. Kyon?

Quki DOG ka ulta is GOD

One more:

Mare huay insan kay muh mein kya daloge?

BIRLA CEMENT. Quki IS CEMENT MEIN JAAN HAI

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One Hundred Dollar story

       An Indian tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotic, he notices a very lifelike, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat.  It has no price tag, But is so striking he decides he must have it. 
He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?"  "Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for the Story," says the owner. 
The tourist gives the man twelve dollars. "I'll just take the rat,you can keep the story."   
As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, he notices that a few real rats crawl out of the alleys and sewers and begin following him down the street.  This is disconcerting; he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him grows to hundreds, and they begin squealing.  He begins to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and are still squealing and coming towards him faster and faster. 
Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Bay and throws the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as he can.  Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Bay after it, and are all drowned. 
The man walks back to the curio shop. 
"Ah ha," says the owner, "You have come back for the Story?"   
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"No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a statue of an Indian politician in bronze!!                                          

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