Thursday, August 9, 2012

Cats and dogs

 I just realized that while children are dogs - loyal and affectionate
- teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it,
train it, boss it around. It puts it's head on your knee and gazes at
you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with
enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old
cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if
wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your
doorsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry
-- then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to
turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to
ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away
from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember
where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be
desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort
of depressed. It won't go on family outings. Since you're the one who
raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume
that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you
redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before
now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs
away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go
toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to
behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it
come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your
affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm,
comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a
big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those
dishes for you."

Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.



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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Perfect Couple


The Perfect Couple
"How is it that you never married?"
"I just never met the right woman. I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now, surely you have met at least one girl you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was one once. I guess she was the one perfect girl, the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything. I really mean that, she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her?"
"She was looking for the perfect man."

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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Five Rules

 
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE...

1. Money cannot buy happiness
But
Its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes
Than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy
But
Remember the bastard's name.....

3. Help someone when they are in trouble
And
They will remember you
When they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only
Because
it's illegal to shoot them...

 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems,
But
Then again,
Neither does milk.


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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Ali


 
Bim and Ali were touring their brand new house. It was a house that Bim had paid for with his money, a fact of which he constantly reminded Ali. In each room of the house he said to her :

"Ali, if it were not for my money, we would not be here."

Ali didn't say a word.

That afternoon a truck delivered a load of new furniture...furniture which Bim paid for with his money. After the furniture was in its place, they toured the house again. As they observed each room, beautifully appointed and magnificently decorated, Bim reminded her: "Ali, if it were not for my money, this furniture would not be here."

Again, Ali was silent.

Late in the afternoon another truck came with a special piece of furniture which was to be the focal point of the family room. It was a combination stereo-television-computer center all wrapped into one gorgeous piece of furniture. Bim paid for it with his money. When it was in place, Bim again said: "Ali, if it were not for my money, that beautiful electronics system
would not be here."

Finally, Ali spoke: "Honey, I don't want to make you feel bad, but...

if it were not for your money, I wouldn't be here either!"

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Genius

 
Is this man (the Economics Professor) truly a genius? Checked out and this is true...it DID happen!

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan" All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED. The professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.     Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on) 

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These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read....  and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody   else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

and most importantly.....

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Can you think of a reason for not sharing this?
Neither could I.

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